Playing Dumb

Okay…there is one person who does it better.

Playing dumb is MY thing.  No one else at work can do it and honestly, nobody does it better than I do.

So what is with my co-workers trying to horn in on my action?

I’m telling you now, there’s going to be hell to pay if they don’t back off and find their own gig.

Last week a customer wanted a shake.  Ding Dong played dumb and asked if I would make it since she didn’t know how.  “Uh…you put ice cream in the metal cup, you add milk, you put it on the shake machine and when it’s stirred, you pour it in a glass.”

“But I’ve never done it and I don’t know how,” she whined.

“There’s no time like the present to learn,” I told her.

I figured she would just float off somewhere and I would end up making it, but it turns out she DID know how to make a shake.

Last night as I was cleaning the kitchen MDFR asked where I put the table tents.  I told him they were in the cupboard under the shake machine.  He stared at the shake machine for about 2 minutes then whined, “I can’t find them.”

“Here’s the deal,” I shouted from the back of the kitchen, “I’ll find them, but then you will mop the kitchen, clean the dishwasher, and roll the silverware OR you can bend your knees and look where I told you to look.”

He constantly pulled that shit when we lived together and usually it was via phone while I was out with friends:

“Holleeeee…the TV remote isn’t working.”

“Holleeeee…I can’t find the knobs for the stove.”

“Holleeeee…Netflix says it’s experiencing technical difficulties.”

“Holleeeee…”

Not even my kids get to be that helpless.

It is possible that my co-workers aren’t PLAYING dumb.  I worked with Sharron on Mother’s Day and after an hour of her telling me every step I needed to take I finally asked if she thought I was incompetent.  “Ignore me.  I’ve been working with Ding Dong,” she said.

I nearly wept at the thought of Sharron having to explain every task in great detail to someone she has trained for 6 months.  She has so much patience, and she’s earning a special place in Heaven.  Or she hasn’t realized she’s beating a dead horse, and every day is Hell on earth.

Pow Wow Weekend

I forgot this was Pow Wow Weekend in Cody.    

My first clue that things were going to be out of control.

 

My second clue was that the restaurant parking lot looked something like this:  

Arg!

 

 And any thoughts of a peaceful night were dispelled by the sight of the lobby:  

Crap.

 

Okay, so I exaggerate, but I’m not lying when I say the restaurant was jammed from before I got there until I served the last meal at 10:30.  We didn’t finish closing until a little after midnight.  It was crazy.  

Even with that many people, we pretty much rocked.  Cora and Brittney handled the hostess and cashier duties.  They kept a nice flow of people in/people out.  The cooks, Cody, Chris, and Chets were at the top of their game and I must say they kicked ass.  April, LMKIA, Raecheal, Amber and I ran our asses off and had a ton of fun doing it.  Raecheal started bitching early in the evening, so I grabbed a bus tub and cleaned off three of her tables.  Then I slammed her with three groups of people.  Find time to bitch now.  I didn’t hear another word out of her.   

I love summer when the restaurant runs like a well oiled machine and everyone is cracking jokes because they are high on endorphins.  It’s why I do what I do.  

Okay, so now that I’m done patting myself and everyone else on the back, you are probably wondering what the Pow Wow is.  It is a weekend of costumes, dancing, music and wares at the Joe Robbie Pow Wow Garden of the Buffalo Bill Historical Center.  Below are some images of past contestants.  (All images were taken from Travel Web Shots and all credit goes to member “menramerika”)  

  

  

  

  

  

If you go, be sure to bring your camera.

Yellowstone National Park, Part II

If you are just now tuning in, please visit the previous post, Yellowstone National Park, Part I, for the first half of the journey.

After resting at Mammoth Hot Springs our next stop is Obsidian Cliff.  This is interesting because obsidian was one of the materials Native Americans used to make projectile points.  It is clear and as hard as sharp as glass.

Now we are starting to get to the really interesting stuff, the geysers (pronounced guy-zers NOT gee-zers.  If you tell me about all the geezers you’ve seen, I think you’ve been hanging out at the Irma.)  Norris Geyser Basin has some amazing sights:

http://www.relaxia.cz

The colours are produced by micro-bacteria which lives in the warm water.  Unfortunately, these sights also inspire warnings:

It seems like it would be self evident, but people think they should go traipsing around in the thermal areas and they get badly burned.  Stay on the path!

Come on, come on.  Get back in the car.  Things only get better.  We can stop at Gibbons Falls and cool off from the hot springs.

The Fountain Paint Pots are next.

Just when you think things couldn’t get more spectacular, we get to Midway Geyser Basin:

Grand Prismatic Spring (left) and Excelsior Geyser (Top).  Grand Prismatic Spring displays a stunning rainbow of colors created by species of thermophilac (heat-loving) bacteria that thrive in narrow temperature ranges.  The blue water in the center is too hot to support any bacterial life, while the outer orange rings are the coolest water.  Grand Prismatic Spring is the largest spring in the United States and the third-largest in the world. 

 

Hurry!  Old Faithful is about to errupt and we don’t want to wait another 91 minutes to see it!  That’s right.  Old Faithful Geyser errupts every 91 minutes.  You can set your watch by it.

If you are exhausted, we can stop at the Old Faithful Inn for some refreshments.

Old Faithful Inn opened in 1904 and today it reigns as the largest log hotel in the world.   It was designated as a National Historic Landmark in 1987.  One year later it was nearly destroyed in the forest fires that rampaged through the park.

Our last stop is the Lone Star Geyser.

This also requires something of a hike so I’ve never seen it.

This concludes the scenery portion of the guided tour.  I know you’ve been asking, “But what about the ANIMALS?”  Hold your horses.  Part III of the tour is all about the animals of Yellowstone National Park.

Yellowstone National Park, Part I

A while ago someone asked why we get so many summer visitors.  I gave the brief answer of Yellowstone National Park.  I will now elaborate with stolen Google pictures and research found on:   

 

HISTORY 

Yellowstone National Park (YNP) is the United State’s first national park.  It was established on March 1, 1872 and is located in the northwest corner of Wyoming.  More than 90 percent of YNP’s 3,468 square miles (8,980 km) is in Wyoming with smaller parts in Montana and Idaho. 

 

In 1807, John Coulter, a member of the Lewis & Clark Expedition, passed through an area that later became part of YNP.  He described a place of “fire and brimstone”, but his story was dismissed as delirium since he was found wandering naked and wounded from a battle with local Indian tribes. The area, which includes land around the town of Cody, was nicknamed ”Coulter’s Hell”.  

 GUIDED TOUR 

The visitors we see are going in or coming out of YNP via the East Entrance. 

Typically not until mid-May, though.

 

The East Entrance is the only one that matters.

Visitors are given a stack of pamphlets at every entrance to YNP.  Most of them are warnings about staying away from the animals: 

Seriously, stay away.

  

Visitors are also given a map of the park and our guided tour will start at the East Entrance since it’s the only one worth mentioning. 

 

  

Yellowstone Lake is one of the largest high-altitude lakes in North America and is centered over the Yellowstone Caldera, the largest super-volcano on the continent. The caldera is considered an active volcano; it has erupted with tremendous force several times in the last two million years.  Rumour has it, if it decides to blow, we’re all dead.  

 

 

  

Fishing Bridge, built in 1902, it was once Yellowstone’s most popular fishing location.  I remember my grandpa taking me here as a kid and I had to fight for a small space on the bridge to fish.  

Fishing Bridge Then

Fishing is now limited to catch and release so hardly anyone stops. 

Fishing Bridge Now

Turning left after Fishing Bridge, you will find Natural Bridge.  This bridge is a 2 1/2 mile hike from the road so since I’m lazy and don’t want to be eaten by a grizzly, I’ve never seen it.  But here’s a picture. 

Not worth a grizzly attack.

If you turn right at Fishing Bridge (which is my recommendation since there isn’t much between Fishing Bridge and West Thumb except Natural Bridge and a possible grizzly attack) you will find the Mud Volcanos.  They are less “volcanos” and more “oozing pits of hot, muddy slop”, but that doesn’t look good on a brochure.  They also stink like rotten eggs. 

And they are somewhat perverted looking.

Mmmm...can you smell it?

  

 

 Continuing on, you will find The Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone.  This is probably the most photographed and painted sight in all of YNP.

 

Lower Falls

Upper Falls

  

  

  

The next stop is Tower Falls by Tower Junction.  I think this is a more impressive waterfall, maybe because it is less photographed. 

 

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

A nice resting place is Mammoth Hot Springs.  Lodging is available and it is well worth spending an extra day or two at the hot springs to see the splendor. 

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

 

 

  

  

  

  

  

  

  

 

This is also a nice place for this post to stop and rest since it is HUGE.  Part II will cover the area from Mammoth to the South Entrance.

My Reader

The following is a list of blogs on my reader which I would like to share.  The authors are clever, funny, inspirational, informative and/or in need of therapy.

In alphabetical order, just to be fair:

Ahmnodt Heare for President:  Join Mr. Heare’s grassroots campaign for the 2012 presidential election.  You will be entertained and you might do some good.

Blogmella’s Handbag of Wisdom:  She better have a big handbag because she’s full of wisdom, humour, and British savvy.  Luckily, she shares.

Blunt Delivery:  Funny, irreverent, and introspective, Brit always has an interesting view on life, love and women.

Darcknyt:  I credit The Darcs for starting me on blogging.  You can either thank them or send them some hate mail.  Darc’s blog is about the craft of writing fiction with some darned funny life stories and an occasional movie review thrown in.  For a treat, check out his fiction blog.

Sherri Blossoms:  Join Sherri as she works to get her novel published.  I’ve read bits of it and you will want to know her when it’s published.

Soylent DaveI just started reading this blog and so far I can say it’s funny as hell.  See for yourself.

The “Ness” in Darcness:  The other (better?) half of The Darcs, Vanessa has the distinction of posting to her blog every. single. day.  Talk about dedication!  It shows, too.  Join her for a daily dose of humour and posts on life, thankfulness and shoes.  Don’t forget the shoes.

The Problem with Young People Today:  This is a look at today’s youth through the eyes of a crabby old fart.  Funny, clever and on the mark, Don Mills dishes up a weekly dose of humour aimed at the fruits of our loins. 

What About Bob?  Tales of life and suggestions on what to do before you die.  Makes you think.

What I Got So Far:  Funny, inspirational or head-smacking stories by WIGSF in the Canadian North are guaranteed to make you think.  Music reviews and a world musical tour round out this blog of note.

I hope you enjoy my selections and if you would like to promote your favourite blogs, post a link and brief description in the comments.

Cheers!

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