It’s that time of year. The tourists are here and they brought their stupid questions with them. I’ve heard, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question,” but I’m here to tell you, whoever coined that ridiculous catchphrase was dead wrong.
For example:
Number 1
“Beer battered fries…what are those?”
“They are fries with a beer batter.”
“I’ve never heard of them. Are they any good?”
No. The owners went to a food show and they searched for the nastiest, most awful vomit inducing food they could find and they put it on the menu. Beer battered fries are the result.
“Yes.”
“Really?”
Please stop talking.
Number 2
“Your sign says your pies are homemade. Who makes them?”
Uh…we do…that’s why we call them h.o.m.e.m.a.d.e.
As a server, I have a pretty good filter. I think snide things, but I seldom say them. As a cook, I don’t have a filter. The most outrageous shit pops out of my mouth because no one can hear me. As a server/cook I sometimes forget to reinstall the filter when I walk out of the kitchen and the snark gets out.
Oh, it’s going to be a long summer.
