Bountiful Baskets

07 Nov 2012 6 Comments

by Glory Bea in Off Topic Tags:

I don’t bother with the produce aisle at the supermarket because our produce is crap and expensive.  A friend told me about Bountiful Baskets and at first I was a little skeptical.  How could they be any good?  For $15 you get a basket of fruit and a basket of vegetables, then you can add extra stuff, such as organic bread, tortillas, honey, granola, and more fruit and veggies.  You don’t get to pick what is in your baskets until you do the add ons, and sometimes there’s weird stuff in the order, but it’s all yummy.

I usually get one basket and an add on or two and split it with my mom.  We have enough fresh produce to last two weeks, which is when the next basket is delivered.  It is so nice to have delicious fruit as a midnight snack or good lettuce, peppers, cucumbers and tomatoes for a salad.

I don’t know if these are available everywhere, but if they are I highly recommend them; bountifulbaskets.org will get you set up.  You won’t be disappointed.

Call Me the Pie Lady

07 Jul 2012 12 Comments

by Glory Bea in The Daily Grind Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Eeyore made the pies for the Outlaw for as long as I can remember.  They weren’t exactly good pies, but they were pies.  She made her own 1/2 inch thick crust, opened a can of pie filling, dumped a shit ton of booze in it, and called it a pie.  The pies were then cut up and frozen.  When someone ordered a piece of pie, they got a microwaved soggy mess of flour and pie filling.  I was embarrassed to serve it.  Since it was ugly pie and it was a pain in the ass to serve, no one ever offered dessert and the pies sat in the freezer, sometimes for more than six months.  Yummy.

When I started working at the Outlaw again, I suggested we plate a variety of pies because if people can see them, they will buy them and if they aren’t disgusting, people will buy more.  Bagheera said no, but I did it anyway and holy smokes!  We started selling pies.  Twelve pies used to last at least 6 months.  We sold 12 pies in less than a month (each pie sells for $4.29 a slice.  We get 8 slices per pie.  I’ll do the math…we sold $420 in pie in less than a month).

Since Eeyore filled the pies with all sorts of booze and since she overcharged for her time to make the pies, the profit margin on a pie was very slim.  Neither King Triton nor Bagheera were all that impressed with the pie sales.  Then came the day Bagheera had her fill of Eeyore (that’s a story for another day) and changed the locks on the bar and restaurant. 

Now that everyone was in the habit of offering dessert, we were without pies.  Speedy Gonzalez offered to make the same pies Eeyore did, but Bagheera wanted to try something new.  She hinted that she wanted me to make some unusual pies.  I like to bake, but I’m not really a pie maker.  I told her I would experiment, but I couldn’t promise anything since I don’t have tried and true pie recipes.

I am officially hooked on making pies.  Tonight I made another strawberry rhubarb, 2 coconut cream & a Shaker lemon pie.  The Shaker lemon kinda scares me, but Bagheera said to give it a try.  It consists of thinly sliced lemons, a shit ton of sugar and eggs.  I’m thinking a sweet lemon Quiche.  I’ll find out what it’s like tomorrow. 

The best thing about my pies is since they are made from ingredients we already have, the profit margin is awesome.  King Triton is going to buy a counter top refrigerated pie case so the pies will sell themselves and we can be world famous.  Or not.

Next up, lemon cream, Key lime, and orange mint cheesecake.

Who’s coming for a visit?

**Update**

The Shaker lemon pie was awesome!  The only change to the recipe is I’ll zest the lemons and thin slice the fruit.  Leaving the rind on as the recipe called for made the pie chewy.  The eggs turned into a custard rather than a Quiche.

The Post of Many Topics

14 Jun 2012 8 Comments

by Glory Bea in The Daily Grind Tags: , , , , , , , ,

1.  I got a $50 bonus for working like a crazy person last weekend.  We were very busy Friday night and Sunday all day.  Saturday night was a big ball of insanity.  There was a rodeo in town and afterwards everyone came to eat steak dinners.  Holy shit.  At one point I thought about huddling in a corner and crying, but I didn’t have time to get off the line.  My bosses are awesome and apparently so am I.  The bonus is very appreciated.

2.  Verizon is changing their data plans to a Share Everything deal.  If I understand the new plan correctly, I should save at least $60 a month.  I guess I’ll knuckle under and pay the $30 one time fee for upgrading my phone.

3.  In Hot Gossip news, Betty Booze kicked Shaggy to the curb and moved in with Davey.  This has caused a shit storm of drama at the Cowboy.  Davey isn’t known for maintaining employment and he’s the type who will bring in a bag of pennies to buy a beer.  He doesn’t have a car, he lives in a one bedroom shack, and his mother raises his kid (and Davey most of the time).  The only person more worthless is his brother.  And while Shaggy’s brother is raising his kids, at least Shaggy has a job and a car. 

Betty Booze is a filthy hot mess.  Her 15 year old, high school drop out daughter was busted for underage drinking last weekend,  she quit/got fired from her full time job at the Visitor Center (something about being drunk and disgusting in public), so she’s picked up extra hours at the Outlaw.  Well, except she can’t seem to make it to work because her life is in disarray.  Shaggy threw all her shit out in the yard (typically when you move out, you take your shit with you), and now she’s busy telling people that the reason she left is because Shaggy and Foghorn Leghorn are having a gay affair.  That will get her neck snapped.  

Ahhh, it reminds me of Meeteetse in the 1970s.  When this little town decides to go crazy, it does it right.  To combine my two favourite shows (Buffy & Supernatural) it’s as if the town sits on a Hellmouth of demonic possession.

4.  My Kindle is awesome!  I am addicted to reading again.  The only downfall I see is when I browse books on it, it is way too easy to accidentally buy a book.  I’ve purchased two books I didn’t want because I wanted to read more of the description and the cursor was on “Buy”.  I can immediately return them, but the refund takes several days and it’s annoying.  If I purchase something off my computer, it confirms that I want to make the purchase.  Not so with the Kindle.  The book is delivered before I can say, “Aw, shit!”

5.  Country Time Strawberry Lemonade is my new favourite thing.

Fabulous News

08 Jun 2012 14 Comments

by Glory Bea in Off Topic Tags: , , , ,

No, I didn’t win the Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.  Ed McMahon didn’t show up on my doorstep with a big check, which is good since he’s dead, but it’s nearly that good.

My brother is back from Afghanistan!! 

When I got the news tears of joy leaked from my eyes.  Only military families understand the constant worry, stress and unease that permeates every bit of your life when a loved one is in harm’s way.  When they return, it’s like a huge weight has been lifted and only then do you realize you’ve been holding your breath for years just waiting for bad news:  killed in the line of duty, AWOL, missing in action, went crazy, killed everybody in sight and set their corpses on fire.  You just never know.

Of course, he laughs and says it’s boring as hell in the war zone.  I think he lies to keep my mom and I from losing our minds.  The best lie was the one he told to his barely-English-speaking wife when he was in Iraq:  “I’m just checking cars.”  She envisioned him kicking tires on a used car lot.  When I realized  he was checking cars for bombs and bombers in the style of ‘The Hurt Locker’ I went to my knees.    

He said it took “about an hour, two luffas, half a bottle of body wash, two razors, and a little bit of bleach” to get the stench of Afghanistan off him.  Apparently the military doesn’t provide those things.  I’m overjoyed he’s back safe and uninjured, which wasn’t the case when he returned from Iraq.

It’s been more than two years since I saw my brother and I can’t wait until he makes it up here for a visit in a couple of weeks.  I always try to pry war stories out of him, but he pokes me, and says, “If I tell you, I’ll have to kill you” and he laughs.  Somehow, even though he’s the funniest person I’ve ever met,  I don’t think he’s joking.

70s Music

08 May 2012 7 Comments

by Glory Bea in The Daily Grind Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

At work we have about a dozen music channels to choose from and 70s music is the only stuff that doesn’t make me want to ram ice picks in my ears.  Certainly there are songs that make me laugh and wonder when we stopped being such sentimental pansies (Seasons in the Sun, Billy Don’t be a Hero, One Tin Soldier) and there are songs that make me stop working and shake my bootie (Boogie Man, Dancing Queen, That’s The Way).  I remember some of the songs from when I was a kid living in southern California (Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree, Brandy, Crocodile Rock) and some from when I was a teenager living in Wyoming (Smoke on the Water, Smokin’ in the Boy’s Room, Smoke from a Distant Fire), but most of all, I remember listening to an all 70s radio station out of Denver the year I divorced.

While attending college part time, I also worked for Pepsi and had the University route.  I drove from building to building in a white panel van filling the machines, as well as supplying three small out of town accounts.  This gave me ample time to listen to the radio.  I remember sitting in traffic one day and Nine Inch Nails rasped, “I want to f*&k you like an animal…I want to feel you from the inside.”   At 10 o’clock in the morning.  The very absurdity of it made me start giggling.  Then they said it again and I howled with laughter.  I know the people around me thought I was insane.  I decided there had to be something better on the radio.

Doesn’t he look like a ton of fun?

I can’t remember the call letters of the station, but I never changed it after that day.  This guy was the early morning host and a woman named Jill took over at around 10.  Later they teamed up for the early morning show and they were hilarious without being vulgar.  For some reason people think they have to be shocking to be funny, but vulgar is vulgar and it gets old really fast.

One morning while getting ready for work, I heard a cat meow.  Animals in student housing were a big no-no, as in immediate eviction.  I looked around for the cat, wondering if it somehow snuck in.  I decided it was in someone else’s apartment and wasn’t my problem.  I heard it again on the way to work.  I looked in the back seat and when I got to work I checked my clothes to see if I had a cat in my pants leg the way some people get a dryer sheet stuck there.  No cat.  I filled the van and started for the school.

I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!

There it was again.  Meow.  WTF?!

Then the morning hosts started playing phone conversations of people calling in detailing their desperate measures at finding the kitty.  Oh, good one.

These were the kinds of tricks they played and the type of humour they had.  They played happy music, made me laugh and in some respects became my friends.  It was a scary time for me; newly divorced, single mom of two, trying to work and go to school and be a good mom.  It was also a time of triumph because I didn’t cave in and go back to my ex-husband, I finished school, and I was a good mom.  I had to give up the job at Pepsi because, well, shit happens.  That’s another story for another time.  I struggled and I survived, and if I had to pick a time that I regard as The Best Time of My Life, this three year period would be it.

So every time I tune in to the 70s station at work, I’m actually taking myself back to some of the best days of my life and it just doesn’t get any better than that.

Back at the Outlaw

15 Mar 2012 12 Comments

by Glory Bea in The Daily Grind Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I picked up a couple weeks of work at the Outlaw, the little cafe in Meeteetse, while one of the employees picks up the pieces of her life after her house caught fire during a “controlled” burn.  For the record, there’s no such thing as a controlled burn in Wyoming in March.  Fifty mile an hour winds, yo.

There are pros and cons to working at the Outlaw. 

Pro:  I don’t have to drive 64 miles a day to work.  This means I’m not spending money on gas.  I’m not running Frankenvan to death and I’m not likely to hit a large creature in the mile drive to my house.  Anything’s possible, though.

Con:  I don’t make as much money as I do working in Cody.  

Pro:  The place is haunted.  This makes for a nice bit of conversation.

Con:  The place is haunted.  I spend my shifts ignoring voices (these are different than the usual ones in my head), and stifling screams.  I’ll get used to it again eventually, but for now it’s one big freaky ghost party because they’ve all come out to welcome me back.

Pro:  The owners are some of the best people I’ve ever met.  They treat their employees with dignity and respect, and will work out any schedule to accommodate their people. 

Con:  There isn’t one.

Pro:  I work with my drunken roommate.  HAHAHAHA!  Just kidding.  This is only sort of a pro.  Even though he’s drunk at work, he gets stuff done and he’s easy to work with.  He’s on the bar side of the building, so I only see him when he has a food order or I need drinks.  I’ve worked with people who are just as drunk as he is, only much more obnoxious and way more useless.

Con:  I work with MDR.  He has the ability to become invisible and then reappear without warning.  It’s bad enough that he does it at home, but combine his invisibility with the ghosts and I’m in a state of mild terror all night.

Pro:  The Outlaw is very casual.  Nobody gets too upset about anything, there’s no screaming and yelling, or temper tantrums.

Con:  The other word for casual is disorganized.  It’s not as bad as it was when I worked there years ago, but there are still a few issues with slackassery. 

Pro:  It takes me 5 minutes to get to work and I’m home 5 minutes after the restaurant closes.  This is an extra hour and a half every day that I have to waste at home.

Con:  I can’t find one.

I hope they can find enough hours for me to stay and work because I’m pretty tired of driving to Cody.  If I figure in the cost of gas, vehicle replacement, vehicle repairs, risk of accident, and time spent behind the wheel, I probably make about the same amount working at the Outlaw as I do working in Cody.  Money isn’t everything.

In Unemployment news, my claim was that I quit because my money was stolen and the owner wouldn’t do anything about it.  It was disputed because I was “dissatisfied with my working conditions”, stolen money wasn’t a factor.  I replied back that I was highly satisfied with my working conditions and used my blog with comments and my actions as a rebuttal.  Now I have to have a telephone hearing on the 23rd because apparently I was “discharged due to misconduct.” 

WTF?!

How did it go from me quitting to me being discharged?  Do employers get to make up anything they want?  His story has changed twice and mine has remained the same.  I’m dying to know what my “misconduct” was.

Slow Down!

03 Jan 2012 8 Comments

by Glory Bea in The Daily Grind Tags: , , , , , , ,

I haven’t been posting regularly because I really don’t have anything to complain about.  Gushing on about how wonderful my customers are either seems like bragging, lying or tempting fate.  The customers at the Spaghetti Western are nicer than I ever imagined people in Cody could be and they are more generous than I ever dreamed of.  Every day I’m shocked at my tip percentage and sometimes I’m embarrassed that people throw so much money at me.  I feel very blessed.

However, (you knew there had to be an ‘however’) since I’ve been working more day shifts and I am my own hostess, I’ve noticed our non-regulars need to work on their manners.

You people can wait 5 fucking seconds while I remove the extra place settings from the table before you sit down!  You don’t have to be in such a big assed hurry to get in the booth that you kick me in the back of one, if not both, knees causing me to nearly fall down and crack my head on the glass topped table.  If you can’t wait 5 fucking seconds and insist on dropping me to the ground with what feels like a size 11 steel toed boot, you can at least apologize for being a twat; extra points for acting somewhat sincere with your apology.

Did I mention it’s ALWAYS women who do this?  Why yes, yes it is.

 

 

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