We got around 10 inches of snow last week and the temperature immediately went below zero…way below…and stayed there for a week. Somehow my hot water pipes froze and I haven’t had hot water for a week. I am an obsessively clean person and yesterday, after taking a whore’s bath with cold water for 6 days, I lost my shit. I got called to work early (and smelly) and I had a screaming, bawling rant in the kitchen. Some guy who refused to eat in the bar actually picked up his plate and took it there when he heard me shrieking, “I CAN’T BE DIRTY! I’M NOT WAITING ON ANYONE, AND I SWEAR TO GOD IF ANYONE COMES IN THIS KITCHEN OR LOOKS AT ME FOR ANY REASON I’M GOING TO POKE THEIR FUCKING EYES OUT!”
Thankfully, my pipes thawed this morning and I was able to shower before work. Once again everyone gets to live. Some people are on very shaky ground.
In other news: I am working on drafting a new town ordinance for all the men who bring crazy bitches to town and leave them. I think there should be a fine just as there is for littering, and maybe some time in jail (or the stocks). This is a serious offense.
We have enough of our own borderline personality disorders problems, we don’t need strangers dragging theirs in ‘cuz let me tell you, when a woman scorned decides to twist off here, she goes all out and takes everyone down with her. This town has a long and sordid history of Crazy; it’s where I formed my curious love of good train wrecks. There’s a big one brewing now and all I can do is watch…and place wagers on who will be among the debris.
Yep, I’m going to Hell in a handbasket.
Jan 17, 2013 @ 07:04:25
An ordinance against crazy bitches. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.
I was born and raised here. I get to stay.
Jan 17, 2013 @ 07:23:47
If your ordinance passes, I’m not sure you’ll have anything left to blog about!
There’s always my co-workers.
Jan 18, 2013 @ 15:36:28
Isn’t the ordinance going to drive most of them away, though? It would seem to be the case, based on your descriptions…
I would be okay with it.
Jan 17, 2013 @ 11:22:59
I can’t work dirty or hungry, but I guess if I had a choice, I’d much rather be dirty. Just give me a baseball cap and don’t talk to me.
I have 3 feet of hair. It’s hard to hide that under anything other than a tarp.
Jan 17, 2013 @ 20:48:26
I like your ordinance idea, but it means I can’t kidnap my upstairs neighbor and drop her off by you. I figured she’d give you some really great stories, or maybe at least an explanation for why she does that shrieking thing.
You have a shrieker? Another reader has a nail pounder. Maybe your two crazies should meet…on a deserted island, far far away. No dumping here!
I can’t wait to hear about the latest train wreck! Does it involve Foghorn? That’s my bet, lol.
No, this train wreck is Hawk & his girlfriend. Foghorn & his drunk girlfriend have been on shaky ground with me since New Years Eve. I’d like to punch both of them hard enough to knock them down.
So happy your pipes thawed! Warm water is awesome!
Isn’t it?! Cold water just doesn’t cut it.
Jan 18, 2013 @ 09:54:56
So it sounds like you’ve got a New Year’s Eve story to share…
I do, but I don’t know if I can get it out without becoming enraged and beating my keyboard into submission.
I’m glad your pipes thawed.