I don’t know what it is about the Outlaw, but some people think I have nothing but time on my hands. Granted, the cafe is small and there may be only one or two tables of customers at a time, but what customers don’t see are the half a dozen tickets from the bar side. I seldom have time to slap my ass with both hands let alone play games with people.
One night Bagheera was busy making pizza dough and I was cooking for/waiting on a couple of tables when two older women came in. I gave them menus and asked if they wanted anything to drink. They didn’t. I went to the kitchen for about 5 minutes and went back out to take their order. They hadn’t even looked at the menu. I went to the kitchen for 5 more minutes. When I returned to their table they still hadn’t decided, but wanted me to describe half of the menu. I went back to the kitchen for another 5 minutes and received four or five more tickets from the bar. Before I started the bar orders I went back to the women, hoping to get their order. They laughed, said they still hadn’t decided, but if I would bring them Cokes they would be ready when I got back. I wanted to beat them senseless with the menus. What is going to change in the minute it takes me to grab Cokes? I gave them 15 minutes to think about their Cokes before I went back. They ordered two cheeseburgers. Fucking hags. I wasn’t sitting on my ass in the kitchen, I was juggling food in between playing their stupid game of wasting my time.
I am very passive/aggressive. You want to waste my time, I’ll waste yours.
Another night we were overwhelmed with pizza orders. Bagheera was trapped at the pizza station so I went out to wait on a large table. They ordered 3 pizzas and when I asked if they wanted anything else, one guy said, “Go put that order in, and come back. I’ll tell you then if I want a salad or not.” Seriously? Fuck you. You know NOW whether or not you want a salad, you are just playing games. I did what he said. I prepped his 3 pizzas (5 minutes each) then went back to see if he wanted a salad. He was all out of joint because I didn’t come back immediately. I explained that I did exactly as he said, I put the order in and came back, bad on him for assuming I was the waitress with time to waste instead of the cook.
Don’t play games.
Saturday night I was busy as hell on the bar side, but dead on the cafe side. On those nights I let Bagheera go home since there isn’t much she can do for me. Suddenly though, two tables walked in the cafe at the same time Foghorn Leghorn brought me a handful of tickets from the bar. I got the order for the first table and went to see if the second table was ready to order. “No!” one of the women snapped at me. They were passing cell phones around looking at pictures and videos. Her husband suggested I come back. I smiled and said, “I have six orders from the bar so I’m going to go start them. I’ll be back when I reach a stopping point…I’m guessing 10 to 15 minutes. Okay?” Holy shit. They were certainly ready to order. Again, fuck you. If you want to have home movie night, do it AFTER you order. You aren’t just wasting MY time, you are wasting EVERYONE’S time.
And I guess that’s why it pisses me off so much. I’m paid to be there. I’m paid to wait on/cook for people. However, when one table holds me up there’s a cascade effect and everyone suffers. I view it as inconsideration beyond belief. The more time I spend playing games with one table, the longer it is for another table to get their food. Order your damned food so everyone can eat.