I got to work a little early today and talked with Betty Booze while she made two grilled chicken salads. She said she was leaving, so I went to dry storage to get the ingredients to make Ramen Noodle Salad. When I came back to the kitchen, she was gone, but the white gravy container was sitting on the counter. I figured that was her way of telling me I needed to make more. I put the nearly empty container in the refrigerator and wrote a note on the board.
Then I got a table of 14 people. After I got them all set up, Bagheera came back from the corner store empty handed. She was supposed to get vinegar for the salad.
“Where’s the vinegar?” I asked.
“I never got out of the bar. That damned Foghorn Leghorn. Those people with the chicken salads wanted more blue cheese dressing and he brought them white gravy. I think he’s drunk.”
WTF?! Sure, if I wasn’t involved I’d think it was pretty funny, but working with a drunk isn’t funny. How the hell do you pour thick, white pepper gravy into a portion cup without realizing that it looks nothing like blue cheese dressing? He said the lid was blue so he thought it was blue cheese, since we used to keep the blue cheese in a container with a blue lid…yeah, a year ago and that container looks nothing like the container with the gravy. Your argument is invalid.
At some point while I was cooking for half the town, Foghorn Leghorn came into the kitchen to get some Ranch. Instead of putting the portion cup on the counter and filling it, he stood in the middle of the kitchen, started pouring, missed the portion cup entirely, and slopped about half a cup of dressing all over the floor.
That was bad.
Worse still, he grabbed one of the towels that I use for wiping counters, cutting boards, utensils, and my greasy hands, and proceeded to mop the floor with it. If I hadn’t seen the whole thing, I would have wondered why my towel had Ranch all over it, rinsed it, and continued using it to keep my work space clean.
I started shrieking, “Out! OUt! OUT!”
Then he brought in two nearly empty, dirty ketchup bottles and asked if he could fill them. “No. You can go back over to the bar, dump out the old ketchup, wash the bottles and then fill them. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you not to mix old and new.”
Foghorn Leghorn has been good for the last three weekends…since the last time he dropped a plate of food on the floor when he was drunk at work, and I told him to get his shit together or we were going to rumble. He obviously needs a reminder that drunk at work isn’t the name of the game anymore. After I got in Betty Booze’s face about being drunk, irresponsible and inconsiderate, she quit drinking. Oh, yes she did. I’m shocked. She’s having a hard time, but she’s putting forth the effort, and I applaud her. Her boyfriend, Davey, quit drinking, too. So the only drunken asshole at the Cowboy is Foghorn Leghorn. He’s also the only one who doesn’t clean. Guess what that means?