Playing dumb is MY thing. No one else at work can do it and honestly, nobody does it better than I do.
So what is with my co-workers trying to horn in on my action?
I’m telling you now, there’s going to be hell to pay if they don’t back off and find their own gig.
Last week a customer wanted a shake. Ding Dong played dumb and asked if I would make it since she didn’t know how. “Uh…you put ice cream in the metal cup, you add milk, you put it on the shake machine and when it’s stirred, you pour it in a glass.”
“But I’ve never done it and I don’t know how,” she whined.
“There’s no time like the present to learn,” I told her.
I figured she would just float off somewhere and I would end up making it, but it turns out she DID know how to make a shake.
Last night as I was cleaning the kitchen MDFR asked where I put the table tents. I told him they were in the cupboard under the shake machine. He stared at the shake machine for about 2 minutes then whined, “I can’t find them.”
“Here’s the deal,” I shouted from the back of the kitchen, “I’ll find them, but then you will mop the kitchen, clean the dishwasher, and roll the silverware OR you can bend your knees and look where I told you to look.”
He constantly pulled that shit when we lived together and usually it was via phone while I was out with friends:
“Holleeeee…the TV remote isn’t working.”
“Holleeeee…I can’t find the knobs for the stove.”
“Holleeeee…Netflix says it’s experiencing technical difficulties.”
Not even my kids get to be that helpless.
It is possible that my co-workers aren’t PLAYING dumb. I worked with Sharron on Mother’s Day and after an hour of her telling me every step I needed to take I finally asked if she thought I was incompetent. “Ignore me. I’ve been working with Ding Dong,” she said.
I nearly wept at the thought of Sharron having to explain every task in great detail to someone she has trained for 6 months. She has so much patience, and she’s earning a special place in Heaven. Or she hasn’t realized she’s beating a dead horse, and every day is Hell on earth.